is not easy.
I appear to have turned into the BIGBADISAIDNO
for instance: you put the boy in front of the telly for 5 mins while you get the sheets in, you look round and he’s trying to eat the record player
TOM, NO
and then he’s trying to eat the playstation
TOM, NO
pulling everything off the coffee table? cd racks? eat the cat?
NO, NO, NO
Wait, you need some background information. Tom is just coming up to 9 months. He already has the attitude of a teenager. Myself, I am approaching 36. Barely old enough to look after myself, let alone a baby.. so how has this all come about?
Simply put, we didn’t want to put Tom into nursery full-time at 6 months old and, god bless feminism, I earn less than my partner. An ameniable arrangement was struck with my employer and now on Monday & Tuesday I’m at home with the boy and Wednesday-Friday I’m in the office.
Let me say, however, I’m not *that* sort of stay at home dad. I do not have children called Troilus and Cressida & I do not knit yoghurt sandals.
When I say it’s not easy, the looking after Tom part is rewarding, challenging and no matter how much he cries or is grumpy, or does what he shouldn’t be doing, he will stop crying, he will cheer up and he will, when offered a rice cake, stop being wilful. He will also SMILE the best smile in the world.
No, the ‘not easy’ bit has nothing to do with Tom and more to do with me. Or people’s attitudes toward me when they see me out, when I should be at work, with him. You can see the thought forming before they’ve even thought it. It has to do with joining baby groups and being the only person there with a beard (obviously, the woman with the really *ugly* baby has a beard but that’s unfortunate, not a choice). You do not belong. You are on the outside looking in and for as much as you will be smiled at and asked how old Tom is, you won’t really feel accepted. When the group leader says about hoping all the mums have a good weekend you will want to say ‘and dads’ but you don’t want to seem churlish.
In short, it seems that being a man looking after a baby is just a short cut to an existential crisis. And I thought it would be a few chores and an afternoon film if I was lucky.
